For a long time, I saw myself as someone who had nothing to offer. I had my talents but they were not something that I considered helpful to advancing the Kingdom of Christ. For instance, I love to organize. My husband bought me a P-touch label maker as a present for my birthday, and I loved it! It is seriously my favorite gift of all the gifts (besides my children) that he has given me. All my home paperwork from bills and receipts to ads and coupons are all filed in my organized folder system. I kid you not my clothes are organized by type (dresses, skirt, shirts, pants, etc.), color and sleeve length throughout my closet. I do not have OCD. They tested me, and OK, I may have a leaning towards OCD, but I find joy in keeping everything in its place. I love to write. I find it therapeutic and helpful to me. I love to research everything to find the most helpful solution. It makes me feel useful. These are my gifts. This is where I thrive, but for a long time, I did not see my gifts as anything that I could use to serve God.
This is where God stepped in. I wanted to serve Him in what I did. I have a child that is medically dependent and his condition requires that I have a constant eye on him. I must make sure that he is monitored, but I want to serve God and make sure that I contribute to His Work. It was a constant struggle to me in looking for a place to volunteer, and God used my gifts to help in Grace Like Rain. I did join the family to help other people as I had been, but I did not think that my gifts mattered enough to be used. I told them to use me where they needed someone, and through God and several transitions, they found a place (or several places) for me where I am not only happy but thrive.
I can’t tell you how much I love what I do here. It is not just about how easy it is for to do what I am good at or what I wanted to do. It’s about using what I am gifted in to make it easier for another person. I love that I have the chance to be a part of something that is changing the life of one parent who is in the same horrible place I was in years ago. When asked to write, or do research or in any area I was gifted in, my initial response was that I was too busy, not enough and that someone else would be a better fit. I have learned that my self-consciousness had more to do with my lack of understanding who God is than it did in me. In this ministry, I have learned to draw close to Him. If I can’t find a way, He has. If I have search for something and come up empty, He has opened a door that I never could. It has never been about me and what I can or cannot do, only about what He will do.